Whether in songs, movies, or books, lots of media today centers around sexual activity. People are likely to encounter sexually suggestive lyrics and euphemisms in music, as well as plots in movies and television built around sex.
Not only is there a disregard for the sanctity of marriage in many of these depictions, but most encourage a lifestyle that is unconcerned about the ethics behind sexuality and behavior.
Popular culture tells us it is okay to experiment with relationships and to see what works for us. Hooking up with multiple people, why not?
Cohabitating, well, that is the norm now, right? Waiting until marriage to consummate a relationship? That is seen as an outdated teaching that is no longer applicable in our advanced society.
But is this true?
According to Christianity, there is another view that is unchanging and based on a higher authority than us or our feelings.
The Lord, our Creator, has given us His Word, which tells us important truths about relationships and marriage. We are wise to listen and consider what He says.
What Does the Bible Say?
The Lord is the Ruler and Creator of all. Naturally, then, He has authority in our lives to tell us what is right and wrong. This is not because He is a cosmic killjoy who wants to make our lives miserable. God knows what is best for us and wants to protect us from the harmful effects of sin.
Thus, what He says in His Word, the Bible, about romantic relationships and sex is important. Scripture informs us that God created sex as a gift to be enjoyed within the marriage relationship. He brought the first human couple, Adam and Eve, together in marriage to enjoy this gift (Genesis 2:22-24).
However, the Fall of Man brought sin into the world, which damaged human relationships. Everything has been impacted by sin, including human sexuality and how people approach sex.
Sin is anything that goes against or rebels against God. Therefore, sex outside of the marriage relationship of one man and one woman is a sin because it goes against what God has set in place (1 Corinthians 6:9-10).
Scripture refers to sexual immorality as a sin against God and a sin against one’s own body (1 Corinthians 6:18). It is part of the fleshly nature that seeks to keep people enslaved to sin.
Premarital sex can also cause problems for individuals. They may catch a transmitted disease or experience an unplanned pregnancy. Also, close physical intimacy connects people on a deeper level because they become “one” (1 Corinthians 6:16).
Individuals open themselves to emotional and relational pain, especially if a person’s partner leaves, only desires them one night, or if both treat the relationship as a casual interest.
Even if none of these things happen and two people are committed to each other, premarital sex is still wrong because it goes against God’s design and offends His holiness.
Although these principles apply to believers and unbelievers equally, Christians are held to a higher standard regarding their conduct. The Bible teaches that believers should flee from sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18).
Since the Holy Spirit lives inside them, they should treat their bodies as a temple and honor the Lord with how they use their bodies (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). We were created to glorify Christ and live in relationship with Him.
Premarital sex neither glorifies nor honors the Lord, which is the central reason we should abstain from any sexual relationships before marriage.
Does This Affect Salvation?
Premarital sex is immoral and should be resisted. However, this does not mean that those who have had sexual relationships before marriage are without hope.
Neither does it mean they are more stained by sin than others. All people are guilty of sin and deserving of punishment (Romans 3:10). None of us deserve God’s love.
Our sinful and undeserving nature makes the love and grace of God even more amazing. Jesus came to die for the sins of all people, including those who have engaged in sexual sins.
On the cross, He bore the punishment we deserve and died in our place (Romans 5:6-11; 1 Peter 2:24). By trusting in Jesus’ death and resurrection, we can receive the salvation He came to give us. We need only turn to Him in faith (Ephesians 2:8-9).
Throughout Jesus’ ministry, He showed the transformative power of His love. People that others scowled at and whispered about as being sinners were drawn to Christ.
While the religious leaders scoffed at Jesus’ ministry, numerous of those “sinners” were receiving forgiveness for their sins and entering the kingdom of God (Matthew 21:31).
Included were women who had engaged in sexual immorality and, as a result, had tainted reputations (see Luke 7:36-50). In Christ, though, they were made new.
No one should ever think they are too guilty or dirty to be washed clean by the blood of Christ (Hebrews 9:14; 1 John 1:7).
He is ready to accept all who come to Him in faith, regardless of their past. When they do, He gives them a new life (2 Corinthians 5:17). No longer do former sins define them.
How Should Believers Address This Sin?
As believers, we are wise to consider the grace of God. If the Lord says that a person is washed clean in Christ, then we have no right to hold past sins against that person.
Christians who have engaged in premarital sex in their past are not less because of their sin. They have been saved and forgiven.
The matter is different, though, if a Christian is unrepentantly engaging in sexual immorality. We see examples in the Bible of believers struggling with sexual sins, but they were confronted and rebuked (1 Corinthians 5:1-5 and 6:9-11).
If the believer continues to engage in unrepentant sin, then the church will need to act. Scripture advises removing the offending brother or sister from the congregation with the hopes of eventual restoration (1 Corinthians 5:5, 11).
A Christian who has engaged in premarital sex can receive forgiveness if they repent and ask the Lord to forgive them (1 John 1:9).
We are not called, however, to leave the world where sexual immorality is rampant (1 Corinthians 5:10). When dealing with unbelievers, we need to approach this issue in truth and love, as well as with a healthy awareness of our own sins.
Christians have generally gained a reputation for turning their noses up and acting as if they are more righteous than others.
Instead of using words laced with condemnation, we need to lovingly speak the truth (Ephesians 4:15). Sexual immorality, including premarital sex, is a sin.
However, it is not worse than other sins. For example, the Bible tells us that if we lust after someone in our hearts, it is the same as committing adultery (Matthew 5:28).
As believers, we were all once slaves to sin and deeds of darkness (Romans 6:17; Ephesians 5:8). Let us remember the enormous grace God has shown us so that we do not deal with others harshly or with excessive criticism.
The Holy Spirit will convict the person (John 16:8). We do not need to add more blame and shame but point individuals to the life-changing news of salvation in Christ.
What Does This Mean?
Premarital sex is a sin, according to the Bible. It dishonors God and His design for marriage. Both believers and unbelievers sin when they engage in any sexual relationships that fall outside the Bible’s definition of the marriage relationship.
However, this does not mean that people who have “hooked up” with others before marriage are worse sinners than others. Neither does it mean that they are without hope of salvation.
Scripture details many people who had engaged in sexual immorality, coming to Christ and being washed of their guilt and shame. Premarital sex is wrong and an affront against the Lord, but it does not make someone unsavable.
Christians need to be willing to stand firm on the Bible’s teaching about human sexuality and sexual relationships. We should not sacrifice a loving stance, though, even as we remain committed to the truth.
Let us remind ourselves that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus” (Romans 3:23-24).
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Sophia Bricker is a freelance writer who enjoys researching and writing articles on biblical and theological topics. In addition to contributing articles about biblical questions as a contract writer, she has also written for Unlocked devotional. She holds a BA in Ministry, a MA in Ministry, and is currently pursuing an MFA in Creative Writing to develop her writing craft. As someone who is passionate about the Bible and faith in Jesus, her mission is to help others learn about Christ and glorify Him in her writing. When she isn’t busy studying or writing, Sophia enjoys spending time with family, reading, drawing, and gardening.
