Mother’s Day is a difficult day for many of us. As someone whose mother passed away many years ago, I can attest to how I still miss her every day, including on Mother’s Day. Mother’s Day is a wonderful holiday as it is a day to celebrate your mother. However, for those who have lost their mother, it can be a very depressing holiday.
If you are someone who has lost your mother, you know how painful it can be when you see Mother’s Day come back around each year. If you are similar to me, maybe you stay home that day to stay away from all of the families. While I am happy that there are people who still have their mothers, I cannot run from the fact that it makes me deeply depressed.
When you go through grief after the death of a loved one, it can be hard to do anything. Everything and anything feels like an insurmountable task. Just getting up in the morning can feel like you are hiking up Mount Everest. Besides daily tasks, it can be hard to meet up with people, be the person you once were, or be present in social settings because your entire life has flipped upside down. Losing your mom can feel like this. Not many of us plan for the passing of our mother, and even if we do, we are never prepared for the pain that comes with her absence.
My mother passed away when I was a teenager. I had just started college and wasn’t sure of myself. Prior to my mother’s passing, I would consult with her on everything. I knew that she had more experience, more knowledge, and more information about life. However, after she passed, I felt quite lost and didn’t know what to do with my life. I’ve gotten older, but at times, I still miss her direction and her eager desire to inspire me to be the best version of myself. Mother’s Day is a day that reminds me of the fact she is no longer with me, but it is also a day that reminds me of the wonderful woman I am proud to call my mother.
If you are missing your mother this Mother’s Day, here are five prayers for you.
1. A Prayer for Solace
A prayer for solace is one prayer for those missing their mother on Mother’s Day. When your mother passes away, it can be extremely painful. If this is your first Mother’s Day without your mother, know that my heart goes out to you. As much as I would like to say it gets better with time, it’s not true for everyone. Some days are okay, some days are bearable, and some days are excruciatingly painful.
It is good to be aware of this ahead of time so you are not too hard on yourself. When you are in the midst of grief or when grief returns on Mother’s Day, remind yourself that this will pass. As you are reminding yourself of this truth, it is also important to pray to the Lord. He is always beside you, and He will comfort you with His love.
A sample prayer for solace could be, “Dear Lord, please help me to have solace. Mother’s Day is very stressful and depressing for me. Ever since my mom passed away, I have been missing her terribly. Life just doesn’t feel right without her. Right now, I need Your love, support, and comfort more than ever, Lord. I trust You. In Jesus’ Name, I pray, Amen.”
This is, of course, just a sample prayer. Feel free to add your own unique touches and your own personal feelings. Be specific with God, and in this way, you will be able to see Him answer your prayers more clearly. God can do anything, and this includes giving you solace. He is our Good Shepherd, who will always come to our aid (Psalm 23).
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2. A Prayer for Loneliness
A second prayer for those missing their mother on Mother’s Day is a prayer for loneliness. Loneliness has a way of making us feel defeated, alone, and without hope. Do not allow loneliness to drain the life and energy out of your life. It is common to feel lonely on Mother’s Day if you have lost your mom, but also remember that other people in your life love you, too. Nobody can replace your mom, but you can remember her memory by talking about her with others.
Try your best to surround yourself with loved ones this Mother’s Day. Spend time with your dad, siblings, or your significant other. Each of these individuals will be able to help you with your feelings of loneliness. It might feel as though you want to stay in bed all day, but you won’t feel very good by the end of the day. Choose to remember your mom’s memory, spend time with others, and maybe go to take some flowers to her grave.
When I’m feeling up to it, I try to take flowers each year for Mother’s Day. Even though I know my mom is in Heaven and can’t see the flowers, I know that she appreciates them. It is also a way to preserve her memory. If you are still feeling lonely and need some help facing the day, pray to the Lord.
You could pray, “Dear God, please help me with these feelings of loneliness. I’m feeling so lost and alone. Please help me to remember that you are always with me. Also, help me to be open to talking to others and prevent me from tuning my loved ones out. Thank you for all that you do, Lord. Amen.”
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3. A Prayer for the Future
A third prayer for those missing their mother on Mother’s Day is a prayer for the future. What I mean by this is that for many people, after they lose their mother, they have many sad feelings concerning the future. If they lost their mother early in life, they might have the depressed feelings of knowing that their mother will never see them graduate college, see them get married, or see them start a family. All of these things can cause deep holes in a person’s heart.
A paralyzing thing is to think about the future, especially for someone who has lost their mom. If you are also afraid of the future, know that you are seen and your fears are validated. Remember that knowing God will always be with you is also important. He says, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10).
Trust God with the future. Pray to Him and say, “Dear Lord, please help me with the future. I am so afraid. I don’t know if I can confidently face the future without my mom. She won’t be here for major life changes anymore. Please walk beside me during this time and guide my steps. I trust that you will guide me through everything, Lord, even the uncertainties of the future. In Jesus’ Name, I pray, Amen.”
4. A Prayer for Grace
A fourth prayer for those missing their mother on Mother’s Day is a prayer for grace. When you are mourning and grieving your mom, the last thing you feel is grace toward yourself or to others. It is at these times that you need to extend grace to yourself as well as to others. It is not your fault or anybody else’s fault that your mother passed away. Don’t be too hard on yourself during this time.
Handle yourself with care, just as you would with anyone else. Be a friend to yourself, and don’t be mean to yourself. Your feelings are valid, even if they might feel too dramatic or uncomfortable at times. God sees all of your pain and He will heal up your broken heart (Psalm 147:3). Turn to Him, trust Him with His feelings, and allow His grace to abound in your heart.
You could pray, “Dear Lord, I need your grace. I’m having a hard time extending grace to myself and others. Please bless me with your grace and help me extend it to myself and others I see today. I get mad at myself for being so down, but I know I shouldn’t. All of my pain is validated because you never intended for anyone to die. Please help me extend grace to others, too, because I’m feeling jealous of those who still have mothers. Lord, I know you can do all things, and I trust You. Amen.”
5. A Prayer for Self-Compassion
A prayer for compassion is a fifth prayer for those missing their mothers on Mother’s Day. It can be hard to cultivate self-compassion when you are always at war with yourself. Thoughts such as, “I should’ve done something different” or “I could’ve prevented my mom from dying,” are going to get you nowhere. They will only cause you to play the “what if” game, which can go on for years.
Instead of questioning what you could have done differently, try to remember the good times you had with your mom. Reflect on the happiness, joy, and love of your mom. When you do this, you will be able to cultivate self-compassion. Your mother wouldn’t want you to be at odds with yourself. She would want you to blossom and bloom into the wonderful person that you are.
If you are struggling with self-compassion, try to go to the Lord in prayer. A sample prayer could be, “Dear Jesus, please help me to have self-compassion. I am not doing the best in this area. I keep feeling like I could have done something to prevent my mom from passing away. Please give me comfort and help me to develop self-compassion. I’m tired of always being mean to myself. I want to learn to be kind, gentle, and accept myself. Thank you, Lord. Amen.”
Yet again, you can be unique in your prayers and pray exactly what you need in the moment. Mother’s Day is a difficult holiday for many of us, but know that you are never alone. There are believers across the world who know what you are going through. Not only this, but rest in the peace that Jesus knows how you are feeling, too. One day, you will see your mom again and be reunited in Heaven.
Five prayers for those missing their mother on Mother’s Day are a prayer for solace, a prayer for loneliness, a prayer for the future, a prayer for grace, and a prayer for compassion.
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Originally published Wednesday, 08 May 2024.